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How To Deal With Loneliness: A Journey from Loneliness to Self-Discovery

Writer's picture: elbyelby

Updated: Jan 9, 2024

Loneliness is seen as a painful thing to confront. But here's the harsh reality: we all sometimes experience loneliness. It's not simply being physically alone; it's the realisation that the world is flowing around you, and you're just a mute observer, unconnected and disengaged.


Loneliness to Self-Discovery
Loneliness to Self-Discovery

Loneliness' Misunderstood Face

Have we not all been there? At a party, surrounded by a sea of people, or browsing social media, seeing others in apparently better positions. It's tempting to believe everyone else has it all figured out. But let me dispel that delusion. Loneliness is not a flaw; it is a wake-up call. It's your inner self screaming for attention, pleading to delve deeper.


Firstly, Let's Address Social Media


Recognising the limitations of social media as a solution is critical in searching for genuine relationships and conquering loneliness. While platforms provide brief dopamine rushes and a glimpse into the lives of others, these transitory pleasures are sometimes false, portraying a skewed view of reality.


Constantly gazing outward via the lens of social media distorts not just our image of others' lives, which may not be as wonderful as they appear, but also widens the abyss of loneliness. This digital engagement is a poor substitute for actual human connection, ultimately alienating us. Limiting social media intake is thus more than simply a step towards mental well-being; it is a critical tactic in tackling the fundamental causes of loneliness and establishing more honest and meaningful interactions.


The Tipping Point: My Personal Battle in Embracing Solitude

I've been down this road before, plenty of times. Felt invisible at times. Especially after a breakup, I've wished for messages that never arrived. However, I discovered that seeking affirmation and presence from others is an endless game. What was the tipping point? It arrived when I chose to abandon this game in favour of a new one based on self-discovery and purpose.


How To Deal With Loneliness: Purpose

Finding your purpose is about something other than significant accomplishments or social standing. It's about getting in touch with what motivates you from within. When you begin to pursue what is important to you, the desire for external validation vanishes. You become so immersed in your interest that loneliness fades into the background.


The Misunderstood Gift of Solitude

Let's be clear: isolation is not the enemy. Only when you are alone can you hear your innermost thoughts? It's where you meet your true self, not the one formed by cultural norms or peer pressure. Accept isolation. You may contemplate, grow, and understand yourself more deeply in this area.


The Power of Being Alone

When you begin to love your company, you become aware of a vital truth: you are your most dependable source of strength and affirmation. You become unstoppable when you realise you don't need others to determine your value. This independence is liberating. It's a power that many desire, but few genuinely possess.


Here's the big takeaway, you get the opportunity to get 'shit' done. There are no distractions; you only need to think about yourself.

I want you to truly reflect on this point: how often in your life, beyond 40, do you get to do things for yourself?

The Unsung Hero of Journaling

Journaling is a tremendously underutilised tool. It's not simply about documenting your day. It's an effective way to clear your mind, own your ideas, and address your emotions. You take power when you put pen to paper. You're admitting your ideas and feelings, which is the first step towards mastering them. It does not have to be lyrical or profound. It only needs to be genuine, just like your ideas and feelings. Allow it to be your haven, where you may express your worries, desires, and dreams without fear of judgment.


The First Step to Self-Recognition is Honesty.

Being completely honest with oneself is essential. It is simple to fool the rest of the world, but the one person you should never deceive is yourself. Recognise your sensations of loneliness, fear, and longing. Only by confronting these facts can you begin to shift your story.


Creating a Meaningful Life

I personally found out how to deal with loneliness is to find meaning and purpose. Creating a meaningful life does not happen overnight. It's a journey that requires introspection, honesty, and sometimes discomfort. Nevertheless, it is a road leading to a more accurate and satisfying existence. This becomes a powerful tool and focus that allows you to keep busy with an end in mind. Sitting dormant and over thinking, only emphasises you have nothing to do or have no distractions.


Social Outlets

The value of maintaining contact with friends and family cannot be emphasised enough, especially while dealing with feelings of loneliness. It is critical to take proactive actions to interact with your social network; this includes actively participating in the world around you. Platforms like MeetUps are helpful for people in a new city or without a social network. This approach expands your social circle and enhances your life with new experiences and viewpoints. I have personally used MeetUps and found great people with like minded interests. Remember that interpersonal relationships are essential for our mental and emotional well-being, so go ahead, get off your ass off the sofa and immerse yourself in the dynamic social opportunities surrounding you.


The Ultimate Prize

The ultimate prize? It's a way of living where you no longer rely on others for happiness or self-worth. It's a life where loneliness is regarded as a valuable teacher rather than a dreaded foe. It's a way of life in which you're not simply existing but genuinely living.


Final Thoughts

So, consider this a wake-up call. Are you ready to look at being lonely differently and turn it into a path of self-discovery and fulfilment? I am not going to pretend it will be easy, but the end result is worth the effort. Remember, in the end, your own perception of yourself is the only one that matters. True affirmation comes from inside.


So, here's the call to action:

  • Begin by being truthful to yourself

  • Accept your loneliness as a source of progress rather than sadness

  • Find your mission, not for praise or acclaim but for your satisfaction

Accept your path, own your tale, and let your uniqueness show. The world is eager to see what you have to give.


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