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Finding Meaning: Reflecting on Loss
- elby
- Feb 3, 2024
- 3 min read
Following the recent loss of a friend, who fought against the tides of life, it left me in a state of introspection, forcing me to confront the fragility of existence and the mental struggles we all fight. This moment of reflection revealed a stunning realisation, captured in the heartbreaking quote:
"Enemies can hurt you, but there is only one enemy who can destroy you; you." unknown
This quote have since echoed in my mind, highlighting the reality of our dual role in our lives: as our harshest critics and the creators and combats of our obstacles.
Revelation in the Shadows: Finding Meaning
Watching my buddy suffer, I saw a mirror that reflected my own life's difficulties. The deepest scars were left by internal strife, the inner voice that frequently uttered words of doubt, fear, and limitation. This voice, posing as a guardian, gradually destroyed my self-esteem and stifled my development. It became evident that I, too, was fighting a battle—not with the world, but with myself. I guess this is just part my journey to finding meaning.
Confronting the Inner Critic
The realisation that "I am my own worst critic" was both disturbing and freeing. Unsettling because it forced me to admit that the most significant barrier I faced was not the outside world, but the internal discourse that guided my choices. It was liberating since it highlighted that I had the capacity to modify my story. Fear of failure, impostor syndrome, and self-doubt were not unchangeable rules of my existence, but rather self-created obstacles.
At feelgood40plus.com, we view mental health of the highest priority. Amid life's storms, never hesitate to seek the shelter of a mental health specialist/counsellor for guidance or the anchoring presence of a friend; reaching out is not a sign of weakness but a brave step towards healing and strength.
Journey of Transformation
The path to self-improvement and purposeful life began with a deliberate decision to cease listening to the inner voice that tried to limit me. This was no simple task, since the habits of self-criticism and negativity were firmly established. However, the first stage in any transition is consciousness. Recognising the moments when the inner critic was most outspoken allowed me to begin challenging its statements, questioning its validity, and, most significantly, offering counter-narratives based on compassion and truth.
Embracing the Inner Advocate
Replacing the inner critic with an inner advocate necessitates an intentional change in viewpoint. Instead of focusing on on our 'so called' flaws, I constantly had to remind myself and appreciate my strengths, value my individuality, and recognise life long growth. This mindset did not occur overnight. It requires perseverance, and a willingness to accept vulnerability. However, with each move forward, the internal voices of doubt faded, only to be replaced by feelings of empowerment and self-acceptance.
The shift from being my own greatest enemy to being an ally has been significant. Barriers that looked insurmountable, I now view as challenges to be conquered and lessons to learn. This shift in mindset has not only improved my confidence, but has also allowed me to see the world differently.
Message of Hope and Resilience
I am hoping that people who are struggling with self-doubt and internal turmoil, you can se yourself differently. The route to self-acceptance and meaningful existence is not without challenges, but it is a trip worth taking. It needs us to be bold, to confront our inner critic, and to recognise that we are the creators of our own narratives. Each of us have the ability to adapt, grow, and lead a purposeful life.
Final Thoughts
My friend's death was a reminder of the fragility of life, reflection as well as its possibility for transformation. In his struggle, I always saw a catalyst for my own development, a reminder that, while we cannot control everything in our lives, we can influence how we respond to obstacles. He was a part of the mosaic of people that help me come to the idea of creating feelgood40plus.com. This his and others, including my own journey, I learnt by choosing to ignore the inner critic and embrace the inner advocate, we may begin to live with greater intention, compassion, and purpose.
Let us remember that the only adversary capable of really destroying us is the one who lives inside. However, within us lives our greatest ally. By accepting this fact, we may go on a path of self-discovery and meaningful living, creating a life that represents our full potential and the depth of our human soul.
